April 30, 2011

Konadicure - Hello Kitty, You're Lookin Wild Today!

Ah yes. Since we all know, or at least have a pretty good idea by now, just how much of a geek I am... This is a perfectly acceptable manicure for me to sport. I'm a tomboy at heart- I work on tractors, cars, and trucks. I can do my own oil changes, know how to replace my brake pads- and put it all back together. I've replaced a broken head block, bored out stuck screws, and know how to clean spark plugs. It's quite easy. I know where my fusebox is, how to replace a blown one, how to back up with a trailer attached to my vehicle and not jack-knife it, and how to squeeeeeeeeze my Truckasaurus Rex into areas where people in VW Bugs think is impossible for them to travel. I'm proficient on how to get a fire out side going, how to split wood, plowing a driveway with a tractor (if there's ever a time I have one of my own, I know how to operate it. To hell with a snowblower!), lay real pine flooring, assist with tiling work and an array of other stuff. I'm familiar with nearly all of Dad's tools, in the tool box and the "Big Boy Toys". Told you I'm a tomboy.

I'm also excellent at applying makeup, and love to do my nails.
I hate the word "cute". I don't know, I say it some times... But don't ever call me cute. It's a guaranteed butt whoopin for you if you dare to go there. And be aware- at this time, I wield a cane, so I have the added assistance of a "weapon", if you can even call it that.

Anyways- look at what I'm excited to show you! I did my nails in a totally awesome mani today. I rewarded myself- it was laundry day, I cleaned, vacuumed, and did litter boxes (since we have a lot of cats). I figured, what the heck. I've had my nails bare for a few days now, and I was positively dying to use my Hello Kitty stamping plate that I got from Born Pretty Online's Store. Yep, they had a promo for a while where if you Re-Tweeted their Tweet, you'd get a free HK plate. So guess what I did. Yes, indeed.

I didn't, however, want to go all out and put that darling little cat on each nail of mine- I thought it would be kawaii overkill. I suppose I could have gotten away with it, but I love how this turned out! Don't you agree??

On my nails:

Orly Rubberized Basecoat
Sinful Colors "Forget Now"
Sally Hansen's Insta-Dry polish in "02 Whirlwind White"
N.Y.C. Long Wearing Nail Enamel in 104A
Seche Vite Fast-Dry Topcoat
Konad's Special Polish in Black-Gold
Konad Plate M57
Born Pretty Plate in M71
Very Small Swarovski Crystals (If I had to guess, about 2mm)

Basically, what I did was brush on the Orly Bonder. Then, on all fingers except my "accent", or ring finger, I applied SC's "Forget Now" polish. I like this one because it's a beautiful deep magenta with silver sparks in the polish. When in sunlight, it's absolutely gorgeous! Once they were done with 2 coats, I finished them off with a coat of Seche Vite.

Next, I painted my accent nails with Sally Hansen's "02 Whirlwind White" for my base. I did 2 coats, and finished with a coat of SV. I then took Konad's M57 plate and stamped the lacy leopard print pattern onto the tips of my nails using their Special Polish in Black-Gold. By this time, my accent nails were dry enough to stamp, so I put on the lovely Miss Hello Kitty and covered all my nails with a SV clear coat.

I used SC's "Forget Now" again to color in the little bow on her head, and applied the N.Y.C. 104A to my nail around Hello Kitty's face. I did two coats, because I wanted the pale blue shimmery shade to really be set off in sunlight and show that there really is another color besides white on my nails. One that was done, I put a dab of SV in the middle of the bow, picked up a rhinestone, and placed it. Another (bit thicker) coat of SV was applied- and I was done!

Now, in some of the pictures it appears that Hello Kitty is smeared and has an air bubble. Upon closer inspection, I didn't smear her face (my camera somehow picked that up!), and the air bubble has since gone to Vegas.

I'm totally feeling like a sassy cat right now! Is it a manicure you'd be proud to sport??? What do you think?!

I'm feeling pretty girlie right now... And that's ok with the tomboy part! *laughs*

Sparklies and Hello Kitties to all!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

Aromaleigh Giveaway - Courtsey of Glitters & Bubbles

Yes my friends, I have yet another Giveaway to tell you about... I would have done this sooner, but you all have front row seating to the way my mind works- I'm Miss. Forgetful. At least today isn't the last day for the giveaway!! 5 days from now, the contest will end- on May 5th, PST at Noon.

So my friend Miss Glitter & Bubbles (Soon to be Mrs. G&B!) is doing a giveaway of 6 (six) Aromaleigh Oops! colors to one lucky winner! The pictures below are borrowed from her blog, so give 'em a click and head on over to enter! The colors will come in 5g jars, which have a sifter, and are absolutely beautiful. They don't look like much when you look at the color(s) inside the jars- they deceive you! Once opened and admired in the jars, they sparkle and twinkle. Once applied to your lids- you're absolutely in love.

There is nothing "wrong" with these colors- they're simply called Oops! because they did not make it into either the core line or Special Edition collections. Up for grabs:

Ooops #1 - Silvery gray with copper sparkles and a hint of rainbow sparkle
Ooops #2 - Medium blue/green with rainbow sparkle
Ooops #3 - Golden beige with rainbow sparkle
Ooops #4 - Light pink/purple with aqua sparkle
Ooops #5 - Medium green with green and rainbow sparkle
Ooops #6 - Dark dusty purple with holographic sparkle

So get yourself over to Glitter & Bubbles and enter today before the contest ends!! There's a maximum of 15 possible entries one can get- so take a look at the rules and follow what's posted so you have a chance to win! Also- don't forget to wish her a Congratulations- she's getting married in a few short weeks! Yay! I'd have to say it's the perfect time of year to do it!!
x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 29, 2011

The Seven Deadly Sins - Gluttony and Temperance with Makeup Zombie

Hello ladies and gents....

Getting this post up a wee bit late today- but better late than never, right? As you may know, the delightfully sinful Makeup Zombie has been a bit busy, as have I- so we had put our weekly "Sins and Virtues" collaboration on hold. Today I'm happy to announce.....  We're baaaaaack! I don't know about you- but I've been eager to come up with more of these... And positively dying to do my next one... But for now, I must exercise Temperance and hold myself under control. I can still hope though... Wednesday is coming up rather quickly!!

And I'm totally swiping Wendi's idea here, because it's absolutely brilliant... Definitions of Sins and Virtues! Ready, set, go...


: moderation in action, thought, or feeling : restraint

a : habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions

b : moderation in or abstinence from the use of alcoholic beverages

Temperance (Sophrosyne in Greek is defined as “moderation in action, thought, or feeling; restraint.” [1]) has been studied by religious thinkers, philosophers, and more recently, psychologists, particularly in the positive psychology movement. It is considered a virtue, a core value that can be seen consistently across time and cultures (see Historical and Religious Perspectives). It is considered one of the four cardinal virtues, for it is believed that no virtue could be sustained in the face of inability to control oneself, if the virtue was opposed to some desire. It is also one of the six main categories of the VIA Character Strengths (see Major Theoretical Approaches). Temperance is generally defined by control over excess, so that it has many such classes, such as abstinence, chastity, modesty, humility, prudence, self-regulation, and forgiveness and mercy; each of these involves restraining some impulse, such as sexual desire, vanity, or anger.

On my face:
Nivea Soft Moisturizing Cream
UDPP under eyes
e.l.f. Concealer/Highlighter under eyes
e.l.f. Complexion Perfection brushed on face
Meow Cosmetics Mineral Foundation in Purr-fect Puss Siamese Inquisitive
Physicians Formula Illuminating Blush in Vintage Rose

My Beauty Addiction Shadow-Poxy Eye Primer
Scaredy Cat Cosmetics Mineral Eye Shadows in:
Robin the Cradle
Wet 'N Wild Coloricon Black Kohl Eyeliner
WNW MegaEyes Black Gel Eyeliner
WNW MegaPlump Mascara in Black

Now of course, you can't forget to swing on by and see Gluttony.... We are, after all, opposites of each other! And Wendi comes up with some of the best looks, don't you agree? And she certainly makes Gluttony attractive... Don't you think?

Who knew that sins and virtues could look so good?!
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I've eaten 5 Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs today and I don't feel an ounce of guilt. Wait a minute, wrong sin... Strike that confession from the record, if you will! Although, I suppose it's an exercise in control considering I have not yet finished the entire bag of delightfully delicious candy... Right??

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 27, 2011

Awesome Eyes, and Meet My Pirate!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend, and I know I'm posting this mid-week... But I'm seriously trying to get caught up with everything that I'm behind on! Frankens are being made in a few minutes- since yesterday it was rainy, and I could barely move. Today was better- sunny, and summer-like... But I went with Mom to her mosaic class to hang with her and some other dames- just to get my butt out of the house. It was fun- I traced the lotus patterns I want, and they look good! We've since picked up some tiles to make my custom pattern on my dump-find vanity table! A quick sanding, a couple coats of black lacquer, a new knob on the drawer, and mosaic-ed top of lotus flowers and water! I can't wait! It's going to look so awesome... When we get started on the project, I'll keep you updated with pictures of the entire process!

Anywho, I'm now introducing you to my Pirate. Yep, he's my guy. He came up to celebrate Easter with my family and I, since we didn't have everyone (with my brother out in Vegas, and my youngest sis at college, they couldn't make it home for the holiday) we at least got to impress him with our genuine, authentic Italian cooking.

Well, my guy managed to get a good night's sleep in a comfy bed (not mine, of course! Gotta respect Dad and Mom's rules!) and managed to not get assaulted by any of our 6 cats. Mitts, the 19 year old Maine Coon. Balls, the 10 year old black cat. His sister Ratcat. Hobbes the big three year old, and also the Dad of Little Dude who's now 6 months. And Peeps, my little bitch cat (she's been a big one lately for some reason- I have no idea!!) who's about a year and a half old. I'm happy to report he slept well, and woke up before me! Whoops! We spent the morning chatting with Mom, and I swear he lives off Mountain Dew. I hate the stuff- it's disgusting. It's all I see him drink- other than an occasional glass of water. Go figure. What is it with guys and Mountain Dew? Can anyone tell me??

Ok, back to the subject... We went up to The Kank to Lower Falls where many people in the summer swim. Well, because of the melting snow and lots of rain, there's no way in heck anyone would want to go in the frigid water, nevermind the raging swollen waters. We've already lost many people to the local rivers because they've gotten too close, slipped in, and died. So, we walked slowly (me poking around and placing my cane carefully along with my feet on the trail and rocks) and went and sat near the falls. Then back to the little picnic/seating area. I decided that we needed pictures of us together, instead of the (awesome) one from Halloween where I have a half disgusting face, and he had "dressed up" as a Leaf Peeper. Hah, original for my town, right?? Not. We always have leaf peepers. Anywho- these are the pictures of me and my Pirate. I thought it was about time for me to introduce my other half to you readers!
And as a side note, I loved the way these colors looked on my eyes- and so did Pirate! I have on Scaredy Cat Cosmetics colors in Robin the Cradle, Smooze, and Metamorphosis!


Yep. We're geeks. Yes, I'm aware that my hair is doing a weird, Alfalfa thing... Remember me telling you last week I cut my bangs too short? Well... I did! They're alright though- and will grow out!

And this curious little chipmunk came by to say hi... I needed to share because it was just so dang cuuuuuuuuute! I'll bring bread or bird seed next time- they're such beggars, and I feel bad when I don't have anything to feed them.

Ok, ok.... I think I'm gonna go make the Frankenshades first, and then open my new eyeliner, and wash off what I have on my face... I promised an eyeliner tutorial/how to with different ones. I think I pretty much have it covered... I have kohl pencil eyeliner, gel liner, a waterproof liquid liner, and a felt-tip liquid liner. Oh, and I can grab a shadow and use one as eyeliner too! So yes... I think I'm set! Off to get this done for you gals!!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 26, 2011

*CLOSED CONTEST* Pink Has A Special Place... My Pretty Zombie Exclusive Colors

For my eyes. Be still, my heart!

That's right, I love pinks. Now, one might call me crazy, considering when one says "I love having pinks on my eyes.", most would think their brain just translated what I said to "I love having pink eye."

Wait, what?!?!
Pink. Eyes. Pink Eye Shadow. That's what I mean. Now, pink is such an underrated color, especially when worn on eyes. It has to be done correctly- otherwise you end up looking like an infected mess, or like your allergies have taken over your face... And that's not pretty.

Long story short... I collect pinks. When I see them, I don't care... I have to have them. Eyes, lips, cheeks... It's all good everywhere. And while this is something personally that I'm not ashamed to say, I want, I'm also sharing this with you too. I mean look below.... HELLLLO COLOR!!! O_o

My friend mNg is hosting a giveaway over on her blog, and it's for three exclusive, unreleased colors which were made for her. I'm not gonna lie- I want them. Baaaaaad!! Especially since they're from My Pretty Zombie. Yep, anything that's Zombie or Ninja is cool in my book. Or Pirate. Can't forget Pirates!! This is my first look at MPZ, and I can see myself being an addict of her company in the very near future. But these colors:

I'm in total "SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!" mode!
How could you not be at this point?!?!

So in order to be nice, and share, you can head on over to Lene's blog and enter yourself to potentially win also!

Also, you should check out

Why? Because I'm a Princess, and I say so. Go! Now! Check out the contest, check out the makeup, and good luck to all!!!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 20, 2011

A Nominee Nominated Me... Back!

Ha ha! Thought you'd get a kick of of that title... And I'm feeling a little silly this evening. Don't mind me if I seem sporadic or eccentric- the doctor's appointment went alright today. My post before last was about me receiving The Versatile Blogger Award, and it took me a while to actually get around to writing it. I had received two nods from bloggers, which meant I had to come up with 14 things about me you didn't already know. It took a while not because I didn't want to... But because things have been so hectic lately. Because things are quieting down, and I'm being advised to stay quiet again, I have more time to just sit here and zone out with the computer on my lap and my feet up.

The rules (which I totally forgot to post!!) ended up being posted on Michelle's blog because I failed to do it here. (whoops!) Of course, I dug out and came up with my favorite blogger hangouts in the last post and thought that was that. Kind of. Anywho, that's me rambling... I need to get to the point.

MakeupMama awarded me back The Versatile Blogger Award! Thank you Michelle!

Now to make things simple, because I've already named all the bloggers I wanted in the last post, I'm just going to list 7 more random things you don't know about me. This brings the total to 21. Phew. I didn't think I'd have to think of that many, but heck- this is FUN!

1. Had I been born when I was supposed to, it would have been at the end of April. Yes, that's right- I was born 7 weeks early and weighed 3lbs 8oz. Pick up a medium tangerine- that's what size my head was. Because preemies back then didn't have the best survival rate, there were no diapers or clothes made that small. I literally fit inside a diaper! I was born on February 21st, stayed in the NICU until St. Patrick's Day, and had to wear doll clothes for the first few months of my life. When my Dad held me, my head was at the tip of his fingers, my bum rested at the bottom of his palm, and my feet would touch his wrist. I was a little one!

2. I listen to all sorts of music. The majority of it is alternative rock, but I also like gold old rock, oldies, classical, pop, some rap, a little country, some death metal, occasionally bluegrass or folk music, and when the mood strikes me... Techno/Industrial. I have very strange tastes.

3. I'm addicted to hand and body lotions. Even ones I don't use anymore, I still keep containers for. I have lots of them... My favorites being the regular Johnson & Johnson's Baby Lotion- especially right out of a shower! It smells so good! Jergen's Original Cherry-Vanilla scent is also another favorite. There's also quite an extensive collection of Bath & Body Works lotions and potions- one of my all time fav's being Velvet Tuberose and Twilight Woods.

4. I've read Beowulf. Yes, it was required reading. Yes, it was written in Olde English. Yes, it was a difficult read... But it was an awesome story.

5. I adore thrift and antique stores- some of the neatest goodies and treasures are to be found in them. From furniture which can be given a good sanding, priming, and turned into a treasure... To all sorts of vintage glass and copper things, to tons of other finds.

6. One of my favorite places in the world is Bar Harbor, Maine. The seacoast, the quaint little town, Cadillac Mountain, the scenery... It's so beautiful and peaceful. I hope to get back there this summer at least- there's a great little ice cream shop in town I love to hit up!

7. Uuuuummm..... This is so tough. Ha ha ha!! I plan on going to a local area this summer to dig up some gems- there's a good thread of them in one of the smaller mountains near where I live- so I'm going to try and find some good quartz along with tourmaline, amethyst and some others.

Yay! There's 7 more!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 19, 2011

Tallied Up... And the Results Are In for the Spring Fling Fever Contest Winners!

I set out a challenge, and boy you gals did some greatness! You don't honestly think I'd make you wait until tomorrow to announce this, did you?? Then again... I just might have! But I'm much too excited- so I'll share with you now!

I asked you to create a look inspired by spring- to be as daring and dramatic as you like. Or sweet, simple and everyday makeup... It was completely up to you. Now, I've tallied up the votes and ready to announce the winners. Are you ready? Of course you are... But let me remind you of a few things first. Ha ha ha! You didn't think I'd just jump right out and say it, did you?!  Besides... It's me doing this. So I'll do what I like!

I want to first thank each and every girl who submitted a look for this contest. You all did a wonderful job, and surprised me with the creative and outstanding looks you came up with. Each one was different from the others- some of you took elements of flowers, some of you actually painted flowers on your face, and others went sweet and springy, or extreme, bright and bold. This is definitely a hard decision on who to pick as far as voting because I'd give every entrant a prize if I could.

I'll be changing rules of contests in the future, only because I didn't feel this one played out as fairly as it could have. I'm certainly welcome to suggestions from those of you would like to offer any up- but let me make it clear that I don't think that this contest was unfair in any way. We had fun! That was the main goal! The winners deserved to win! (You all did!) You came up with your own interpretations of flowers! You all had friends and family come by and vote for you. It's good! Anywho- I'll be altering rules in the future... One of the main ones is that I'll never again end anything at midnight PST... Because that's a puffy-eye-burning hour to be up... And I just can't stay up that late anymore. My body protests quite violently- and my eyes stay puffed for days. Not pretty.

Ok, I'm done with my rambling for the time being... Sorry, I'm on a chocolate sugar high!

Drumroll please.... Aaaaaaaand...
1st Prize Winner of the Spring Fling Fever contest is:

Cassandra M! With beautiful Hibiscus flowers painted on her face, she's certainly inspiring spring feelings here! It reminds me of Hawaii- even though I've never been there- it's one of my "Bucket List Destinations" to visit. I can feel the warm sun, cool breeze, and sand under my toes already! And hopefully a pretty handsome cabana boy bringing me tropical drinks with those cute little umbrellas *wink*

The Grand Prize consists of 3 FrankenShades I'll create from my massive collection of unopened cosmetics from The-Company-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named- and Cassandra, all you need to do is tell me what colors you'd like! Additionally, you'll need to email me (trinnity218 gmail) because Shannon V has generously donated five 5 gram jars of  Simply Naturals mineral eye shadows in the following colors: Ice (white highlighter), Tea Rose (dusty red), Vegas (gold with brown undertones), Goldrush (gold-ish), and Sandstorm (brown with gold undertones) and she'll need your address to send them to you!

Now after some thinking as I was tallying results... I've decided I'm tossing in an extra FrankenShade for the Second and Third Prize placements! So that means Second Place gets 3 colors, and Third Place gets 2!

Drumroll again....

The Second Place winner is Reggie G from Color Me Obsessed!! Indeed, I was drooling over her amazing swatches of Inglot over on her blog... So when she used these intense colors to create her Tiger Lily inspired eyes.... I was floored! I mean hello intensity!!!! And just an all around gorgeous interpretation of the flower itself. We have some outside that will hopefully bloom within the next few weeks- and this certainly is one of my favorite flowers. And I have to throw in extra kudos for even getting the "spots" like the flower even has!

So my colorful friend, you have 3 custom shades you need to inform me that you would like Frankened!

And last but not least.... Drumroll again....

The Third Place winner is Karen D from Crazy Mama Karen with her gorgeous two-toned Tulip inspired eye look! I'm telling you- I have eye color envy about this picture because the colors she chose just accent her eyes perfectly! And look how sparkling they are!! It makes me wish I could look out at our tulips... But sadly, we have deer around up here. So unless we somehow keep them out of the garden, they inevitably find and eat the flowers! Darn deer!! So I'll just be content at looking at Karen's eyes!

Karen, it's your turn to pick two colors you'd like made!

And there you have it! The three Spring Fling Fever contest winners!
If I could give each and every one of you a prize, I sure would... But unfortunately, I can't... At least not until I win the lottery somehow! I'd like to encourage you to not give up either! Play with color, experiment, step out of your comfort zone... You just might find out that you like a new look from time to time!

Remember- makeup washes off- so don't be afraid to experiment with color!!!!
If you'd like to browse all the looks for the contest, you can click here to see them!

Once again- thank you ladies for taking the time and entering this contest!
I'm hoping to put together another one very soon here... With some awesome prizes!

Wishing you a wonderful spring full of beautiful flowers and colors!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 17, 2011

It's About Time I Make Time... The Versatile Blogger Award!

Alright ladies and gents... I've been putting this off for the last week. Ok, honestly... Not "putting" it off... It's just that I get so distracted so easily, I just often forget to do things.

In an effort to help me remember to do what I need to get done, I have a handy dandy little notebook I have with me. Usually. And I write down what I need to get done that day/week/month as far as paperwork, to-do's, goals, and other stuff. The really bad part about all this? When I need it the most, I forget where that notebook is... And what I've written down in it. Yeah. Welcome to my life! (laugh!) I search high, low, under cushions, seats, paperwork, pillows, blankets, in the bathrooms, under my bed, in the craftroom, and have even gone as far as the garage some days. On occasion, I remember having it last in one of the vehicles (my truck, or Mom's car), and I venture out there to find.... Nothing! I come back inside, huff and puff, sit down... And usually see it within 5 minutes. I swear- that little bugger moves around by itself. It has legs, I just haven't found out where yet. One of these days, I'll figure it out. If I remember...

Anywho... Since my last post was kind of a downer, and really took a lot for me to open up the way I did... I thought it was quite fitting to finally acknowledge and thank the wonderful ladies who have passed this along to me:

The day I received a comment from Amanda T. over at her blog, Glitters and Bubbles, it was a day that really lifted my spirits and made me smile! The past few weeks have been rough, with Mom giving us a scare, me up and down and not feeling well at all, and life in general. So to see that I was awarded by someone I consider a close online friend... It totally made my day!

Then what happened? I noticed that one of my other fellow friends, Reggie from Color Me Obsessed, whom I consider a "Partner in Crime" now because of our antics and shenanigans online, had awarded it to me as well! Well... Shucks! I'm honored! Thank you ladies!

Since I've been awarded twice, I have to come up with 14 new things you don't know about me. If you'll remember last time, a similar list was created when I received the Stylish Blogger Award from SisiSparkles. This is going to be hard. Hmmm....

1. I know how to crochet, knit, cross stitch, make stained glass art, mosaic, scrapbook, make hair extensions, and I've worked as a florist. Yes- I like to be kept busy with my hands and create things which are visually pleasing and also decorative! The only thing I really can't do is paint/draw. Sometimes, I can do some neat abstract watercolors- but that's as far as I venture!

2. I have invested thousands of dollars into scrapbooking supplies, stickers, cutters, embossers, grommets, albums, accents, tapes, glues, papers... And I've only made one. Stupidly, I gave it to someone who didn't deserve it. But the fact remains- I have a TON of stuff, and every intention on making scrapbooks... When I can bear to let go of the stickers and designed paper I don't want to "ruin". Packrat, anyone?!

3. I hoard pens. I don't know why. I like that some are ball point pens. I love sharpies. Glittery pens? Mine. Free pens? I take two. Flower pens banks use to deter people from taking them with them when they leave? Yeah, sometimes those find a way home with me too. Typically by sticking it in my hair so it looks like a barrette. It's not technically stealing... I just give them a better home than a boring office!!

4. I loved Firefly. They really, really, really need to bring that show back.

5. I never had canned pasta sauce until I got to college. It baffles me that some people have never even tasted a homemade pasta sauce. See, I'm Italian. I grew up in the kitchen. This girl knows how to cook!! And Ragu? Sucks. The only one I can remotely stand is the Wegman's brand, in any flavor. Especially the Four Cheese one. Those are actually decent... But realistically?? I make my own sauce!

6. I'm the oldest of four children, and also the shortest. I'm 5'2". My brother is just shy of 6'. My middle sister is about 5'5". My youngest sister is 5'10". We call her the Glamazon. And we are all fiercely protective of each other.

7. I have a scar on my bottom lip, and the inside of my mouth. That's right- when I was in Third Grade, I was playing on the Monkey Bars at recess and decided none of the boys were allowed up on them. While trying to get down to show one of my friends how to do my "flip", I lost my grip and remembered opening my eyes and feeling myself on the ground. I got up, felt sticky, looked down to see myself covered in blood... Indeed, I had bitten clear through my lip by accident. Rushed to the nurses office, off to the doctor's, 5 stitches later I was closed up. It took weeks to heal, and it was difficult to eat. And I never wore gloves on monkey bars again.

8. I donate blood every chance I get. Since I've been treated with medications for the past year, I haven't been able to which bums me out. But there will come a day I'll be able to do it again. I'm also planning on trying to see if I'll match anyone as far as being a marrow donor too. I think society as a whole should be concerned about helping each other a lot more often than they do, instead of just looking out for their own selfish interests. Do something because it's right and you want to... Not when it becomes an emergency or a necessity.

9. I have a love of corsets and how I feel when laced up in one. My back would probably be in better shape if I could wear one more often than I do, but not having any income at the moment kind of squashes that part. A well made piece is a few hundred dollars. I plan on having quite a collection in the upcoming years. I wear them for fun- they're tasteful, pretty corsets. Some are even downright cute- there's a Hello Kitty one I've been admiring for some time now!

10. I buy patterned socks. Why? That way, I know exactly which ones to pair once they've been laundered, and the washing machine monster is less likely to eat just one patterned sock. There are occasions where I wear two different socks entirely... My youngest sister does too!

11. On occasion, when the mood strikes me, I make faerie wings. They can be done either out of fabrics, feathers, or for uber-lightweight ones I use iridescent cellophane and other materials. I haven't made any recently, because people just don't have the expendable income they once had in this economy the way it is these days. Custom orders are welcome though!

12. I'm a Macintosh Girl. I love Apple. I want a Macbook Air. I'm stuck working on a crappy PC for the time being. If anyone feels like doing a great deed for the year, a 13 inch is what I'm really really wishing for. *grin*

13. I'm totally obsessed with nail stamping art lately. It's fun, easy, and I always get compliments! Plus the fact that my nails are growing as healthy as they've ever been is awesome too! It's so much less than going to the salon to have them done... And what people think are fake nails on my hands, because of the length I let them get at times, are shocked they're my natural ones!

14. I've had a boy chasing after me for 10 years trying to get a date. Our timing has never been right, I was dating someone, he was dating someone, I had moved away, he was somewhere. He asked me a few times to be his girl, and I always felt like I would be a burden if I got into a relationship with the current state I'm in health wise- especially since he lives 2 hours away. His persistence, understanding and patience has shown me a side of him I never knew- and I'm glad I've found. He doesn't mind my physical limitations, and is helping me cope with everything I've been going through. I'm happy to report that we are now an official couple, have been for a while, and it's pretty safe to say that he's the last man I intend to date. Feel free to take any implication of that you like *grin*

Alright, I made it to 14 new ones! Whew!!!

Now, since I didn't have 15 blogs I followed when I got my last award, I certainly have more than that now. This is good, because I get to share with you who I love to read posts from now that I have more that I tune in to on a regular basis. So here it goes, and who I give this Versatile Blogger Award to!
  • Manda from Toxid-Lotus is another one of my "Partners in Crime"... So stop by and check out her awesome posts, because there are certainly lots of different ones! Some of the LOTD's she comes up with are amaaaaaaazing!!
  • Erin from The Cheap Chick which I check out every chance I get... Not only does she post about giveaways, but tips, tricks, deals, and helping out other bloggers too! We also have some pretty hilarious Twitter conversations!
  • Magdalene from I'm Not Skinny, So What who posts about Coach Bags, diamond rings, and gets some fabulous swatches of makeup too! Plus, she's a total sweeheart to talk to and deal with!
  • Marin from Linnaeus Cosmetics, who not only is a F/T student, but also manages to run her own MMU business which has color sets designed and inspired by animals!  How awesome is that?! Plus- she's one of the nicest business owners I've dealt with.
  • Kim from KimmieKarmaLove who has an amazingly detailed, swatched-to-heaven awesome blog! I love hanging out over there!
  • Michelle from Makeup-Mama who's just started out with a bog, and boy what a job she's done! If you're looking for pretty EOTD posts, you definitely have to check her out!
  • Jessica from over at The Urban Critique has just started getting going... And going... And going! She's got some posts that will keep you checking back often- and I love the unique way she does her swatches! Go check it out to see how!
  • Stephanie from The Raven And The Rose who not only does fabulous swatches (seriously amazing!) but has some fantastic EOTD's posted often. I wish I had that kind of drive!!
  • Tracey from Ginger Kitty Designs has amazing nail polish jewelry she creates- each one is totally unique and one of a kind!
  • Amber from DoubleHelix has some gorgeous LOTD's, well thought out posts, great reviews and an interesting array or products she shares with us all.
  • Visit Ber from Rock A Betty Beauty where the tagline (appropriately!) is "Where EVERY gal's a pinup!" Hell yeah!!
  • Last but certainly not least is Wendi, the lovely Makeup Zombie... She's just sheer awesomeness!!

So I hope you gals take a few minutes, peruse and check out all these blogs that I like to hang out around... And have fun! If you truly want some giggles... You can find the majority of us over on Twitter too ;)

They haven't been listed in any sort of particular order... Just as I felt like listing them out this evening!

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 15, 2011

The Story Behind the Pain

Hi there friends and fellow makeup junkies. This is kind of a long, personal post of mine.

I thought now would be a good time to introduce you to a little more about "me" as a person, and why sometimes I make frequent posts... And other times I'm kind of absent, distant, ditzy, and almost dis-attached. If you check out my profile, you'll note that I do have another blog attached to this account which is my personal one. There have been a lot of painful, and quite difficult posts I've made while trying to cope with a really bad back injury I've sustained from a car accident in 2007, and been dealing with it's serious emergence now for over a year. I haven't updated it lately, because honestly... There are many days I don't want to get up. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to move. I suffer daily with chronic pain. I try my best to keep it out of here- because I want glittery, happy, sparkles and smiles and general silliness to be shown. There's a "dark side" I attempt to keep at bay, and I'd like to think most times I'm successful with it.

Why now disclose and share this with you?
Well... First of all I'm becoming more of an "exposed artist". I never in a million years dreamed I'd make the friends I have over this past year with my "Adventures in Makeup". I thought sure, I'll most likely end up having a few people which are close friends following me... Wanting makeup tips, inspirational looks, recreated ones, and maybe even some DIY things. Asking questions. It started out that way. Then their friends joined, and by word of mouth, social networking, the wonders of google and a thousand other ways... People are finding me. Lots more people than I thought would. Honestly, I started this blog as a therapy for myself- to have something to do each day, to look forward to, whether it be creating a new eye look, making a tutorial, taking a picture. Something. My macro eye pictures are what people loved- and encouraged me to continue to "create" with, get different looks, shots, angles... Art. More and more people are finding me each day.

This has happened.
I've also discovered a wonderful world out there with other girls who share a lot of the same passions as I do. People who play with color, experiment with looks, take inspiration from anything and everything. Some of them, I've found, are doing the same thing I am- using makeup as a self-therapy to have something to look forward to each day. Dealing with chronic pain, depression, auto-immune disorders, and any number of other ailments. Then again- many of my friends here are healthy too. It's a mix of people, and I truly couldn't be more appreciative to call those of you who are reading this my friends.

For those of you who have known me in real life and for a long time, typically I shy away from having friends who are girls- because quite honestly, we can be very bitchy, competitive, cutthroat and downright mean to each other. I can't stand it. I don't want a friendship to be a constant battle of who's got the latest Coach bag, who can afford Louboutin shoes, who goes to the salon for a manicure every three days. That's not a friendship- it's an unhealthy rat-race between people who somehow have to "prove" they're worthy of being a friend. That's not the case with me. Respect me, treat me the way you want to be treated... And I'll do the same. I want to kick back, have a few beers (hasn't happened in a long time) or even just pretty drinks with those cute little paper umbrellas in them, discuss the latest funny story from around town while hanging in front of the fire pit in the backyard. Talk about drugstore sales on makeup, new department store products, what goodies are coming out of Ulta and most importantly (to me at least)- new indie MMU companies which are being discovered... Regular people, trying their best to get a business, their passion, up and off the ground and surviving in the real world. That's what we go bananas over. That's why the detailed reviews, the sharing of the goodies, the tutorials, the raves, some rants (for some small issues), and overall fun.

The last thing we typically want to talk about is our pain- how we can't remember how it feels to not be in pain. That it's been so long we can't remember what it feels like to be "normal". How we can't move a certain way because it's excruciating. How most of the time we're on the verge of tears but have to stay strong and hold it together because there are things that need to get done and nobody else is going to do it. How it's a struggle to not only get out of bed, but the monumental decision of the day is whether or not to put on an actual outfit or say whatever, I'm just staying in my PJ's.

Dealing with people when you do go out that snicker ask "So, who's the handicap one? Hah."
Yeah, I dealt with that actual comment the other week. My sister took me to lunch, so after I made the decision I wasn't going out in my PJ's, I put on some makeup and off we went to run some errands. I stayed in the truck mostly, because I can't walk around much. Then it was time for lunch. She parked in the handicap spot up front, because most of the other spaces up front were taken and I knew I couldn't walk from the far away spots, and a guy was standing outside there outside having a smoke. She flipped the placard down, and opened her door and got out quickly, but kept her door open to watch me. The guy puffing pretty much laughed and smirked when he saw this, and right as he made his comment I stumbled out of the passenger seat, losing my balance and able to prop myself up against my door and anchoring my cane to keep me from falling. I know it looked dubious, a very tall girl hopping out of an SUV, and another one in the passenger seat. The fact is... I'm great at hiding how tired and sick I look. I balanced myself, stepped away and shut my door calmly, and said "Me." My sister gave him a dirty look, I held my angry tears back, and we walked into the restaurant together. What I really wanted to say was "Hey there fella, don't you feel like an asshole now?". I didn't. Besides- he reeked of alcohol and was using the building to keep himself upright.... Another townie bar rat drunk at 3:30pm. I think my answer was enough. He's lucky I didn't wield my cane (laugh at that joke).

I myself am no angel- not by a long shot. I've done some pretty shitty things in my life, and I've hurt some friends of mine- intentionally, and unintentionally. While I realize I can't go back in time and change the hurtful things I've said and done, I make an effort to apologize sincerely. I don't like hurting people, unless it's something I'm being attacked for and have no other option but to defend myself- be it with words or physically. The latter is quite difficult now though. I've learned that some people don't forgive- I'm not entitled to make them change their minds. I've learned that some people truly appreciate apologies, but it takes a lot of time to build that friendship and trust back- if it's even done at all. I've learned I have to move onward, learn from my mistakes, and strive to not make them again

The makeup community I've found myself getting involved in and with has had its ups and downs. I'm very new to it, and I understand this. I don't know everything, and I'm sort of just posting for fun. Over time, it's evolved to now include other aspects of what I'm doing- collaborations, giveaways, requested tutorials, reviews on products, and a brand new project that I'm involved in trying to get off the ground with a few of my other friend bloggers. I never imagined I'd be branching out to include these. There are some people I really like and consider friends, and others I keep at a distance. The best way to explain that is I treat people the way I've been treated, the way I want to be treated. Those I interact with the most, and who are friendly with me, are ones I return to and ask for opinions and advice, and also have some of the silliest conversations ever with. Heck- we do it to each other. If I reach out to someone, I hope they treat me with the same respect I go to them with.

I'm not always received with a warm welcome- and you know what? It's ok. I'm not going to have a fit, pout, and rant about it. I realize that I'm not an expert, and I make no claim (right now of course!) to be... But hopefully very soon I'll become a licensed esthetician and MUA for hire. This is my goal. Better late than never, right? Right. I strive to be accessible, available to those who need answers to questions, inspiration, or whatever is needed. If I don't have the answer- I ask all my friends! Online, IRL, bloggers, everywhere. What I hope you see, and what I hope to convey, is happiness. Inspiration. Being a goofball, having fun because life is short and we should enjoy every minute we can! It's my goal to make sure that's the side of me  which is presented. I try not to let my pain get in the way of the videos or pictures I take- though sometimes I'm certain you can see it reflected in my face, my eyes. I want you all to see me as the bubbly, bright eyed, silly person I really am. That is the real me. It's not easy to pull it off each day.

Sometimes I can swear I've smiled in pictures I've taken, and and when I look at them I'm honestly stunned to see that the look on my face is rather blank. Not happy, on the verge of a pout, or eyes half closed and obviously medicated... Which I am. All prescription mind you. For this, I apologize. I don't always realize I'm so "blah". It's so very hard to see and feel myself like this... Most of the time I just want to sit here and cry. The "real", healthy, unmedicated me is used to working, go-go-going and getting things done. Being the life of the party, hosting get togethers with friends, going hiking, fishing, camping, seeking out fun road trips and places to go. To say that I can't do 90% of what I used to do is an accurate statement. The good news in all of this is at some point, the pain will lessen. The spasm will ease. The medications won't be needed. I'll be back to "me". What I don't know is when it's going to happen.

The rest of this post is quite long, detailed, and not meant to make you feel sorry for me. I don't want pity, I'm not posting this to make you feel bad about what's happened to me. I'm posting this because it's been my driving force to make each day better than the last one I've had. It doesn't always work- but I try. I'd like to offer you a little insight as to what you might catch from me sometimes, in glimpses. Right now, in regards to just my back, I've been diagnosed with arthritis, degenerative disc disease, and failed back syndrome.

The background history of this injury I've sustained I'll explain below.
On March 24, 2007 I had a very serious car accident. It was a rainy night for the majority of the drive, and I took a road which was a "shortcut" that would have saved me about 2 minutes of my time on my route home. It had been raining the entire way, but as I noticed the temperature dropping, I slowed down. This shortcut road is a small mountain. Instead of going completely around it the "long" way, I took the wrong way that night- and told my Dad I was farther up the road than I really was after he called to check where I was.
(The photo below was taken a few days after my accident.The first telephone pole, with the tire track leading right in to it, is what I "ate" that icy night.)

Less than a minute after hanging up the phone with Dad, I crested the hill on the roundabout way on the side of the small "mountain" doing far less than the posted 30 mph zone, more like 10-15 because I had seen some small icy patches, and immediately felt my tires slide. I knew at that point, I had lost complete control of my Scion tC. I tried to steer myself to the opposite side of the road to hopefully get into the snowbank and/or ditch there, but to no avail... My car continued to just slide forward, with my tail end trying to come around and spin. This particular road pitches right, on a curve, and bends inwards. Awful in the winter- and many an accident has happened there. Even though the side of the hill I had come up was all rain and just wet, this other side was all black ice and slushed over. Because I couldn't steer left, I popped my car into neutral to get it out of gear and stop it from pulling my car forward and making me go faster, turned to the right and tapped my brakes firmly to intentionally put myself into what I hoped would be a sideway-forward slide into the snowbank on the side of the road to slow me down. My intention was to stop my rear end from coming around completely and making me spin backwards down the hill. It half worked... The nose of my car ended up clipping the snowbank and catching it just enough so that my car skimmed it all the way down the hill and right into a telephone pole. I couldn't break through the bank because it was iced through pretty well, and my car wasn't heavy enough to dig in to it.

Airbags went off and I managed to throw my arm up so I didn't get the force full of it on my face, I was bruised, scraped, and cut by my seatbelt, and felt myself flung up and over my steering wheel. Upon that impact (less than 25mph because of the speed I picked up going downhill- accident reports estimate I was going about 18mph) I felt each and every vertebrae in my back go pop... pop... pop... pop. From my tailbone, to my neck, it felt like it was slow motion. I know I blacked out for a moment or two. When I came to, I turned the key, intending to back my car up a bit. I didn't remember the accident. Then I realized wetness on my neck, my kneecaps hurt, coughing from the fog, and my windshield was broken. I pulled the keys out and opened my door, unbuckled my seatbelt and crawled out of my car... Hands and knees onto the shoulder of the road, a 1/4 inch of ice coated everything, topped off with grainy slush that was now falling. Headlights- a firefighter was on his way home and saw me as I impacted. He pulled over on the other side of the road (he was going home and coming the opposite direction as me), slipped and fell on the road while making his way over to me while I crawled to the back of my car, and finally pulled myself up with his help, and stood there with him holding me still. His wife wanted to go get blankets, but he said no- we're staying where we are. Tried to call my Dad- but just my luck I crashed in one of the dead zones. The firefighter had radioed his department when he saw me crash and had the state police come out and an ambulance sent to the scene of my accident. I am so thankful I was alone- if there were anyone in the passenger seat, they would have been hurt worse than I was. I finally got through to Dad, sobbing while telling him what happened. He left immediately, along with my sister. It was 11:48pm.

The snow had picked up, stuck badly, accumulated quicker than what was forecasted and they were having trouble getting to accidents that night. It's New England. This happens all the time. Mine was the worst. My back immediately started spasming, and I was twisted to the right and down so badly, I couldn't stand up straight, they couldn't strap me into the gurney the way they wanted to when the ambulance was able to make it to me 30 minutes later. I remember hearing the diesel engine of my Dad's truck pull up, not seeing him. I could hear my sister crying, and Dad talking. I do remember a state cop laughing with my Dad about how much crap was in my little car- how did I manage to get all that junk in there? The Statie told them I was ok, just shaken up and would be transported because of the injuries they saw- scrapes, bruising, spasms. I had planned on cleaning it out the next day. They assured him and my middle sister I was alright, but wouldn't let them see me until I was brought to the hospital.

I remembered hearing the ambulance often hitting the gas, and I couldn't figure out why. Once they got me strapped as best as they could on the gurney, in a neck brace, and IV-ed on scene, I realized it was because it kept slipping backwards on the hill and would have hit my car had they not kept the vehicle creeping upwards. The road was so icy, the ambulance was sliding backwards down the hill. I managed to turn enough to see the State Police vehicle had parked his car in the snowbank on the opposite side of the road so it wouldn't slide... That's how slippery the road was. I managed to stay upright only because my heels were able to punch through the ice and into some of the loose sand in the shoulder of the road. It took us nearly an hour to get to the hospital, which would normally be a 20 minute ride. I hadn't suffered any serious or permanent visible injuries that would put my life in danger. My spasm eased a bit once I was medicated, but I was still twisted sideways. While I had the ride to the hospital, Dad and my sister went home to pick up my Mom who was stunned, worried sick, and had no clue what happened because they left in a rush, without a word. She had been asleep, and remembered the door being slammed shut when Dad and sister left to get to me at the accident scene.

I don't remember much... They had medicated me heavily, morphine was finally given because I was going in and out of consciousness because of the amount of pain I was in- and while that finally dissipated the majority of it, the funny news is that it made me an absolute chatterbox. I was told to be quiet, rest, sleep. I couldn't shut up. It was like, diarrhea of the mouth... Laughing at words, sentences, doctors and nurses coming in. My parents and sister talking. Telling me to shut up. Be quiet. I couldn't. I can't remember what was so funny... But it all was. Not one single phrase stands out to me, but it was hilarious. Not so much when I got up and tried to walk when they released me to go home later the next morning- I stood up and summarily fell down, with Dad catching my full weight as I lost my legs. From there, it was months before the spasm let up. I still went to work, but took my medications after my parents delivered me to the office so I could function. Painkillers, muscle relaxants, and I still got all my work duties done well before the end of each day. My back finally eased up after about 2 months of that behavior. I was terrified to drive. Didn't want a car. I got a Chevy Trailblazer. I still suffer from small anxiety attacks when I need to ride in a small vehicle. I refuse to drive any of them... To this day, they still scare me. I'm much more comfortable in a high up vehicle.

My back was an injury that was known. It would occasionally spasm, I'd deal with it for a few days, and be alright. Then one morning I got out of bed (after Christmas that same year, December 29th) without stretching because I had to go the bathroom all of a sudden and couldn't wait... Downstairs... I stepped on the first step... Bounced down 18 more on my tailbone, lumbar region, and whacked my head a few times too. I hurt myself so badly, I couldn't make a sound. Everyone home heard me fall, scrambled out of bed to find me at the bottom of the stairs, tears streaming down my face, my mouth open to scream- but silence. Dad had to pick me up, carry me to the couch, lay me down. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe, coughing or sneezing hurt. That was the second injury.

After 3 months of being back on medicines because of that fall, I did the work routine all over again. Drove to work, in pain, so I could carefully time my meds so I'd be ok to work, and ok to drive home in the afternoon. My back wasn't getting better though- and my doctor suggested I take 4 weeks off. I couldn't do that- I needed the money. He said fine, part time only- no more than 20 hours a week. I showed it to my boss second week in February. Not only did he fire me on my Birthday less than a week later, but my boyfriend at the time dumped me also- same day. Double whammy, and the cherry on top was I had my cousin's grandmother's funeral to attend now that I was newly unemployed. The 5 hour drive to MA for the funeral, in the backseat of a truck with not much room... I soaked my sweatshirt with tears. I remember every bump, each corner taken too hard, each pot-hole, speed bump, curb, stop sign, red light and quick braking. Excruciating. My palms were raw from my nails digging in to them so I wouldn't audibly cry.

Missed somehow in all this was my ligaments.
We knew my vertebrae didn't line up correctly- but there was no herniation. No screaming evidence of a bad problem that needed to be fixed immediately. Adjustments helped me. Physical therapy did not- I left in more pain than I went in with. After being fired and dumped, I visited Virginia where my brother was stationed for the Air Force, and met his (at the time) girlfriend. I ended up moving down, getting a job in DC. Long story short, had an awesome chiropracter who worked miracles on me and got me straight and walking again. Loved my roommate (bro's g/f), but then had a falling out. Moved in with best friend (a guy), and got a new job. Reconciled with bro's ex g/f, stayed best of friends with my guy friend roommate.

Then a spasm in March 2010. (It's the same one I deal with even to this day- it has not un-kinked yet) None of the doctors (who, by the way had all my medical information in regards to my back injuries with years of documented info) would give me the pain killers and muscle relaxants which would have eased this after a few days. Went to see specialists- one of whom actually wrote "give up" on my chart as a rehabilitation option. I was told my pain was all in my head, nothing was wrong with me, and I was just looking for medications. I started eating ibuprofen like it was candy- and it's not good for anyone... Liver damage anyone? I'm lucky- I didn't do any damage. After three weeks, I started to fall. No warning- my right leg would just give out on me. At work, driving, at home, in the shower... You name it, I fell. Stairs even. It was scary. More "specialists" telling me I was imagining things. I wasn't actually having pain, I was imagining it. There wasn't a reason I should be complaining. I'd have to wait 6-10 weeks to get an appointment, and the doctors wouldn't prescribe any medications without first evaluating me.

I finally called my parents and had them make an emergency run to come down and get me. They did on April 9th, 2010. Marathon trip home with Dad and my middle sister was from Virginia to New Hampshire in a day... More than a 12 hour drive on the 10th. It was awful, but they got me home. I slept for nearly 2 days straight. My doctor here, who has been working with me since I got back, was appalled with the condition I was. He cried when he laid eyes on me- twisted over, Dad holding most of my weight, while my right foot dragged behind me anytime I'd try to step. My doctor was in disbelief. He's dealt with me since my car accident- and couldn't understand why the other "doctors" would refuse medication and help.

He won't give up with me. I've since gone through countless medications, seen a quack of a neurologist who overdosed me on an awful drug that could have severely injured or even been fatal to me, been trying different ways and techniques to try and fix this problem. It's my ligaments. They're so badly stretched, they don't hold my spine in place- so everything moves around in there whenever it wants. A sneeze, a cough, a twist the wrong way- and I can feel it slip out. I can't get it back in- my doctor has to do it. Each time it happens, it hurts. But the spasm I had last year is still in my back. Still sensitive, unable to be touched with anything more than a light pressure. I've had at least a dozen nerve blocks since September, steroidal shots to bring down inflammation, arthritis medications, pain meds, muscle relaxants, fibromyalgia medications (to strengthen my nerve casings and make me less sensitive to pain), and we're barely making progress. At least I'm not crawling on my hands and knees like when I first came home. I'm back on the loopy medications, sciatica pain has returned even though nerve blocks were administered last week. When I'm on these meds- I have little to no motivation. I don't feel human. Don't feel pretty. I'm not inspired. I can't work, and I'm one of those get-'em-done go-getter types. I love to be kept busy, interact with people, find solutions. It hurts me inside that I can't right now. I was denied disability through work. I was summarily released from my job because I wasn't getting better, and they couldn't hold my position for me any longer. I'm currently unemployed, (temporarily) disabled, and a messy train wreck on many days. I feel like a loser, a mooch, being supported by my parents. I'm lucky to have them- very, very lucky. Not many people are so lucky to have parents who can support them in a time of need like this. You may also notice throughout the pictures of myself in the past year, I've dropped a lot of weight. It's the wrong way to do it- medications. I forget to eat, lose my appetite, and only remember when my belly grumbles. I'm close to 70lbs lighter than I was a year ago.

Along with all of this, I can't really "get away". I can't go out and drive because of the meds I'm on. I can't sleep on anything other than my memory foam mattress unless I want severe pain for days later. I move, I crack somewhere- unintentionally, and sometimes I have to make it crack to release pressure farther up near my mid-back and shoulder blades. Otherwise, I bind up and can't move very well at all. I miss the freedom of being healthy. I miss the social life I used to have. I've shut out a lot of people, shied away from my friends... And I despise it. There have been those who tell me to "suck it up and deal with it." Well, that's exactly what I'm doing. Part of my healing process is distancing myself from people, I don't want to appear or be seen as weak. I know most would disagree, and would want to help... But for me, going it alone most times is the best way for me to handle all of this. Other days, I want to be near my friends, I want someone or a few people close. I still need social interaction. Until you deal with chronic pain, until you try nearly every treatment (exception being surgery- I haven't had it) available, until you experience something on this slide scale and of this caliber... You truly do not know what living in constant pain is like.

And yes- while this is certainly awful to deal with... I remind myself each day:
Someone else always has it worse off than I do.
Yes, I hurt. Yes, I cry. Yes, I feel so alone, frustrated, unable to do things I want. I'm going through this for a reason. I don't know what yet- but I'm sure in time it will be revealed. And there are people out there who have much worse conditions and disabilities than I do. I will get better, I will be running and jumping and goofing off again. I'll be able to wear my silly high heeled shoes again. I'll be off the pain medications. I can't wait for that day to come. Some others aren't so lucky. But they persevere and don't let their disabilities control them... They're in charge of their lives. I am the same way, have the same fighting spirit.

I am thankful for my family, my friends. I count many of you- even though the majority of us have never met in person- as my friends. I hope you  understand a little more now as to why sometimes it seems I'm here a lot, and others I'm just sort of "off" in my own little world. This is why.

Pain drains your energy. It saps you of many interests. It hides inspiration, makes it harder to find. It truly is a little rain cloud that follows you everywhere.
I'm determined to see the sun again- and it will be soon.

I'll end this short novel now with a simple, but effective way to show that I'm appreciative of all of you.

Thank YOU for being here for and with me.

I'm consciously making an effort to get more motivated though... Because sitting around in this recliner each day kind of sucks. I don't want you to feel sorry for me- I'd much rather have happy comments and thoughts coming my way! And I certainly don't want this to sound like a pity-party post, because that's not the intention at all. It's just... Insight into me the way I am now, and the way I process and deal with things as they arise each day.

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P

April 11, 2011

LOTD/EOTD - Date Night Makeup

I wanted to share this with you, because I really loved the way this look turned out. I wanted something soft, yet edgy. Something sexy, but not overdone. I think I was able to compromise and do well with it, and I think my guy even enjoyed it! I'm very lucky- he's appreciative of many of the looks I put together, and quite often I surprise him with what I manage to come up with. As he drives a ways to come see me (since currently I'm not able to, due to my back issues and subsequent medications) I make sure to put myself together very nicely. Truthfully- he says he thinks I'm beautiful without any makeup, and could be in a potato sack and I'd still be just as pretty as if I'm all dolled up.

It makes the typically stoic side of me just a little bit squishy inside, and I like it. I'm not typically a squishy kind of girl. Funny? Check. Quirky? Check. Wild? Check. Adventurous? Check. Lovey dovey? PDA? Holdy-hands? *crickets*

Since I was able to find us a great dinner deal in town (2-fer deal, $23 for two entrees at a local restaurant!) we had a nice early dinner which we enjoyed quite well, and also went and saw "Paul". If you like aliens, and foreigners, you'll get a kick out of that movie for sure! It's definitely a good one- and the graphics were amazing. Seth Rogen was perfect to play "Paul"- I think he's a bit of an alien anyways!! Anywho, it's totally made me rethink my "Bucket List", and attending Comic-Con is back on it. Now that I'm getting the body, but that's another story for another time!!

I wore one of my favorite black tops which snaps at the neck, sort of like a mini-collar. A pretty white lacy detail cami underneath and a pair of jeans completed my look. Nothing too done up, since of course I can't wear any of the extensive collections of my high heels. They're adorable. But while my back is in this condition, there's no way I can handle any heels. I went out in my sneakers *sad face*

On my face:
Stila Petal Infusions Moisturizing Cream
UDPP under eyes (over dark circles)
e.l.f. Concealer/Highlighter wand, applied over UDPP and blemishes
e.l.f. Complexion Perfection Correction Quad applied to face- under eyes, cheeks, nose, forehead
Meow Cosmetics Purr-Fect Puss Mineral Foundation
Physicians Formula Illuminating Blush in Vintage Rose on cheeks

On my eyes:
My Beauty Addiction's Shadow-Poxy Eye Primer
Linnaeus Cosmetics Shadow Kalahari on inner 1/2 of eyelid
Shiro Cosmetics Hearts on outer 1/2 of eyelid
Aromaleigh Velvet Plush in crease and blended upwards

Antoinette's Revolution Cosmetics Powdered Wigs on browbone
Linnaeus Cosmetics Kalahari over ARC Powdered Wigs
Wet 'N Wild Coloricon Black Kohl Eyeliner
WnW MegaEyes Gel Liner in Black
WnW MegaPlump Mascara in Black

Ulta Lipliner in Berry
e.l.f. Cosmetics Luscious Liquid Lipstick in Ruby Slipper

And there you have it... My sweet and sexy eye for the evening!
Bet you didn't think red on your eyes could be so sweet, eh??

x0x0x0 ~*Snarky P